Moon’s Fifth Night – Mana-sama’s Birthday Party

Wanna know all about the Moon’s Fifth Night, A.K.A Mana-sama’s Birthday Party?

You can read it here! Pics included!

I’ve Moved!

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Manikako at The Podium

I’ve mentioned before, somewhere in this blog, that I’m very fond of ball-jointed dolls, especially those made by Dream of Doll. My friend, Jen, informed me two weeks ago about this fund-raising activity at The Podium where dolls are going to be exhibited and members from ManikaManila, an organization of BJD owners in the Philippines, are going to be volunteering. I said, Wow, cool! Maybe a ManikaManila member will bring her Dream of Doll BJD! We went on the first day of the event and…

To continue reading this post, click here.

Flight of Fancy has moved to its own server!

To review your comments as well as read old and new posts, go to the new Flight of Fancy site at http://shiroiouji.com/flightoffancy

My angst…

I told myself that I won’t be like all the other women in love stories and soap operas whose lives fell into pieces the moment they meet the “love of their life.” This love who has proved to be naive, inconsiderate, cold and short-tempered.

But then again, how did those stories end? Wasn’t theirs a happy one? Or did I just imagine it?

Apparently, most of the women born in this world are bound to such fate. For them to be destroyed by some loser and be reborn from the ashes like the phoenix in all its glory and radiance.

But I didn’t say that the phoenix can’t be killed. But it has an amazing ability to be reborn again and again.

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This paragraph has been edited as it contains NOT pure hatred, but hatred nonetheless. It kinda sounded cheesy as it got longer.

!@#$%^&*&^$#&*)(&%$##%^&*)((#Q#$(*&Q#$)(&Q%)(&Q)%#^&$^$&)#()Q(#%(#^…

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My Dad told me, as I was crying my eyes out at Shakey’s 2 days before Christmas, “A slip of the foot you may soon recover, but a slip of the tongue you may never get over.” I’ve somehow blamed myself that I pushed you to hate me because I spoke of many useless words that didn’t help our situation. I was sad and lonely, lost and longing, abandoned and jealous. I felt ill to the guts. And I said, “You don’t have power over me anymore.” I ate my words too soon. I found myself fallen into depression as Christmas approached. They say, “Hell hath no wrath like a woman scorned.” You scorned me. But I didn’t want to let go of you yet. Not like that. Not while we’re miles apart. Not with that bitch for your neighbor.

Today, we had an argument. You were working and didn’t want to be disturb. But I just asked how you were doing, didn’t I? I showed concerned for your selfish ass, didn’t I? But you brushed me off like a paid whore.

Hear my words when I say, I DON”T WANT TO BE TREATED THAT WAY. That you’ll just be nice to me WHEN YOU WANT TO and I CAN’T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT. That’s a fucked up life. DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT if you don’t want me to get fed up about all these. Yes, I ALSO get FED UP. I WILL GET ANGRY WHEN I WANT TO and if getting ANGRY too will be your ANSWER then, FUCK YOU. Yes, I’M SCARED that YOU”LL GET ANGRY AGAIN the way you did this CHRISTMAS, but I WILL NOT lose my IDENTITY just so I could get to YOUR GOOD SIDE. I LOVE YOU, but I’M NOT YOUR TOY. I WANT TO RESPECTED AS THE PERSON I AM.

I don’t want to be my Mom… obedient and silent. You’re becoming more like your Mom… cold and indifferent.

P.S. I’m scared for the mere fact that you’ll read this post and get mad… It’s so sad that I’ve come to feel like this about you…

My depression…

The song playing is “Way Back Into Love” … I hear Drew singing “I’ve been living with a shadow overhead. I’ve been sleeping with a cloud above my bed. I’ve been lonely for so long.Trapped in the past, I just can’t seem to move on…”

Exactly what I am feeling…

Last night, like many other nights, I was hunted by my past… A past that I wished have never happened… If I could turn back time, I will be there to stop it… I would get there, no matter how far, no matter how difficult, no matter the cost… If I could have prevented you from liking somebody else… So I can be the one who made you smile and laugh… to be the one you hang out with… the one you talk to when you couldn’t sleep… the one you share your excitement with… the one you share your cooking with… the one you go to work with… the one you share your ideas and jokes with… sing karaoke until the morning… chat with until the sunrise… write to… care about if I smile or not… sleep on my carpet… to be the ONLY ONE…

I never expected that of all the people that you have to be with, she’s the one whom you’ve taken a liking to… I was most comfortable with her around… I was wrong… I know now that physical appearance is not your thing… It’s what makes you happy… It was her carefree character… her audacity and being dynamic… and energetic towards life…

I knew that at that time, I couldn’t be the person she was… because I was missing a part of myself… we were miles apart… I just couldn’t be the same… I couldn’t smile or laugh in the same way when you’re around… I couldn’t go to places cause familiar places remind me of you… and new places, I want to share that excitement with you…

But you tell me, “Life shouldn’t stop for you and me…”

God knows the countless night I’ve cried…staring at my monitor…waiting for you to go online… just to see your face…to hear your voice… I would wait and wait… Not caring about the hours that pass by, nor the strain in my eyes, nor the tiredness of my body… Like the goal of my living was to see you every night, and the misery I felt will only end the moment I hear the sound of Wengo Phone ringing…

Torture… That’s what it was…

Tears are flowing… My wounds are still open… Maybe I should stop for tonight…

Shopping in Moi-même-Moitié, Shinjuku

Last December 28 to January 7 was the most exciting, fun-filled, and interesting 11 days of my life. I spent 6 unforgettable days in Osaka and 5 days in Tokyo, Japan with my SO.

January 2, my first shopping experience in Mana-sama’s boutique located in the 5th floor of Maruichi (0101) near the West Entrance of Shinjuku Station.

Was VERY EXCITED!!!!

When I got to the 5th floor, I was kinda disappointed because the space still looked like I was still in a department store as opposed to private enclosed spaces which boutiques ought to be. I was expecting that Mana-sama’s boutique was supposed to be wonderful. So I turned left from the escalator, I already saw h.Naoto, but still no sign of Moi-même-Moitié, but then, near the end of the hallway, there it was, an old European-fortress-inspired entrance to a gothic sanctuary, Moi-même-Moitié!

I then took out my camera to take a picture of the entrance, and then a lady from the department store came to me and told me that taking pictures was prohibited. But she was too late, I’ve already stolen a shot. Apparently, there was really a sign on the entrance, but I wasn’t able to notice it because I was so excited. You can’t really blame me… So, I’m not gonna put up the pic here because I respect Mana-sama and if he says “no pictures,” I’ll have to obey that with all my heart… (as cheesy as that may have sounded, I don’t give a damn!)

His store is the coolest boutique ever! It was very warm inside, I had to take off my jacket. I took a look around and I’ve noticed that the attendants were really quiet, in fact the entire boutique was really quiet. Not that I have any problem with it. Then I saw this one piece that looked absolutely nice and decided to try it on. I had my SO talk to the attendant in Japanese because my Japanese wasn’t that fluent and I didn’t want to stress myself with the language, I was just thinking of all the very beautiful clothes around me! Then I was shown to the fitting room by this girl, 石井さん (looked at her name tag), who was very friendly by the way, (well, most Japanese are, especially to customers) which was at the center of the boutique and guess what! Their dressing room was a coffin! Very nice! I was very thrilled just by trying on a dress! Haha! Who would have known!

I was also kinda worried at the time when I was fitting the dress because Moi-même-Moitié clothing only comes in one size (M), but I was very happy to know that the dress fitted me perfectly.I felt like I was trying on my bridal gown or something. I also tried on a skirt, but I ended up buying the one piece and a pair of socks. At the counter, I had my purchase gift-wrapped and I was given a Moi-même-Moitié point card, which has 20 stamp slots to fill in. To get one stamp, you have to purchase 10,000yen worth of items (not including items on sale). After completing the point card, you get a gift! Yey!I wonder what gift is worth 200,00 yen of Moi-même-Moitié stuff?

I went back to the store the next day to buy another pair of socks, a pair of lace gloves, and a choker. More items, more points! Yes, I’m an obsessive-compulsive point collector!!! WARNING: Moi-même-Moitié will drain your pant pockets! But Moi-même-Moitié really does have lovely dresses and the craftsmanship is superb. Definitely the couture of Gothic Lolita fashion.

My SO who doesn’t really go for Gothic Lolita fashion was even mesmerized by everything that Moi-même-Moitié has to offer, from the feel of the place to the clothing and accessories they sell. If you’re really into Gothic Lolita / Aristocrat clothing and want the best the world has to offer, there’s nowhere to go but here.

If you have time in your hands, please do visit Moi-même-Moitié. You’ll find that you just can’t leave the store without buying anything. The other branch is in Hiroshima. I’d like to go visit the place sometime.

Hail Mana for creating Moi-même-Moitié!!!

 

Today’s Upper Prescription

Drug: Filth in the Beauty

Manufactured by: The GazettE

Dosage: When you’re losing (or have already lost) it and you wanna let it all out without hurting anybody. Perfect for schizos.

After Effects: F*****g hard rock!!! Yeah, growl baby… No need to understand what I’m saying… Just go with the rhythm till your heart pumps to the sound of the drums… Feel as I suck out the destruction from your shivering body… Sway your body from left to right… Move your head in circles… Come to me, only I can rescue you…

The GazettE

View The GazettE page.

Today’s Upper Prescription

Drug: Cassis

Manufactured by: The GazettE

Dosage: When you’re a mix of desperation, pleading, regret, hope and courage for love.

After Effects: You’ll be a fool for love, like everybody else. Need more proof? The GazettE even made a song about it. Now you believe me? Good.

I’ll drop dead on the spot if someone I really love sings this to me… “Please look only at me…” I mean, you couldn’t really resist someone (preferably someone you like) who tells you that, right???

Living the Dream

So I’ve been gone for two long months. The reason is… I got my DREAM JOB!

Profession: 3D Artist

Woohoo! There’s nothing like going to work everyday! It’s really challenging and it takes a LOT of creativity. At the end of the day, I feel like the Dementors sucked the life force out of me, BUT… I go home happy and looking forward to the next working day. 3D’s definitely an upper I’ll always intake. *Sigh* …don’t wanna know how it feels without… I’m one big masochist for 3D. XSI can tie me to a post and spank my ass anytime!

Next thing on my list: gotta have my hands on that electric guitar and gotta have more gothic lolita stuff.

Hail Mana!

*Moi Dix Mois feat. Gackt – Lamentful Miss* Poll Results

After 2 months of being non-existent in my blog, I’m back!!!

What’s up universe???!!!

Anyway, in my last post, I mentioned that I’d be posting the results of my online poll. I said that I’d be posting it after a few weeks, but it’s already been a few MONTHS since then…. I’M SORRY!!! To all of you whom I have let down, here’s a cute cute teddy bear.

Anyway, going straight to the point: 82.8% voted “AWESOME!!! and 17.2% voted “GRUESOME!!!”

What can I say, gotta love this duo.

Moi Dix Mois feat. Gackt – Lamentful Miss

Of Gackt and Mana-sama readers, I have a poll for you! Tell the world what you think! To those who haven’t read the post yet, please click here!

So here it goes: If you opened your eyes one day and woke up to Moi Dix Mois feat. Gackt in Lamentful Miss, how would you react? Click only one!

“AWESOME!!!”

or

“GRUESOME!!!” ???

If you want to be more expressive of your answers, click this and leave a reply on that page.

I’ll post the results in a few weeks!

Today’s Upper Prescription

Drug: “Madame “

Manufactured by:

Dosage: Every night. (Or when you feel like it) Don’t forget a little S&M.

After Effects: “So tell me, my Love, after my tiresome running in the fields under the scorching sun, shall I be able to catch that rare and exquisite butterfly?

Ah, I desire, I desire…”

So intoxicating…

Of Gackt and Mana-sama

If you haven’t read the previous posts, I suggest you READ:

Mana-sama

and

Malice Mizer

and

Why I hate Gackt and Juka

and

You know what’s hilarious?

and

Gackt’s Autobiography: Jihaku.

 

The Complexity of My Feelings for Gackt

People might seriously think that if I accidentally met Gackt in the streets of Shibuya, I’d stab him.

If Gackt fans knew who I was, I’d be stoned to death… after all the trashing I’ve done to him in this site. After all, it’s a free world, isn’t it?

I would say, “Malice Mizer is not Malice Mizer if Gackt wasn’t on vocals.” Then, I’d say, “I don’t like Gackt because he left Malice Mizer and that was the end of it.” I’d say “What’s this? Am I still reading Jihaku? Gackt is actually making sense!” Then, I’d say, “YOU’RE nonsense!” I’d say, “His unmistakable charisma was definitely one of the major factors that brought the band soaring popularity during his era.” Then, I’d say, “Seriously, yes, you’re sick, sick sick.” I’d say “Tetsu and Klaha, even Seth of Moi Dix Mois and its former vocalists, I have to say, though I hate to, don’t compare to the force, quality, and style of Gackt’s singing voice.” Then, I’d say, “I hate Gackt.”

So why do I seem to contradict myself? The complexity of it all is because I love this person

and because I miss this

and this.

The second picture is most probably never gonna happen again, let alone the third one…

Mana-sama & Gackt

I love this duo. Mana-sama made a good decision by picking Gackt as vocalist for Malice Mizer. During the Gackt Era, Malice Mizer was at its best. Just by seeing Mana-sama and Gackt, you’ll know you’ll get an AWESOME live performance. They look perfect together. They could sing to “You and Me Against the World” and CHANGE the world. Too bad it didn’t last… So I hated Gackt for leaving. Yes, Gackt broke my heart. I can’t speak for Mana-sama, but if I were him I’d be broken-hearted. Also, I felt like Mana-sama has changed (music and all) and that his music has hit the bottom after Gackt’s departure and has not recovered until maybe the second or third album of Moi Dix Mois. I don’t know if Mana-sama and Gackt grew closer in their years together and I don’t even know if they were in good terms when they went their separate ways. My SO once e-mailed Gackt because he’s a Gackt fan and in the last part of his e-mail, he asked if he and Mana still talk to each other. He answered back, but didn’t give any comments about it. I think I’m gonna cry…

Malice Mizer and Gackt

After reading Jihaku and contemplating on the chapter: The Truth About My Departure From Malice Mizer, I think Gackt wasn’t really angry towards the other members and that the one who said that “Malice Mizer is over” was probably someone from Columbia. If it was one of the band members then Malice Mizer should have ended with Gackt, but then they went back to Midi:Nette and found a new vocalist. There was the money problem of the other members like he mentioned, but also Gackt had always wanted to achieve a higher level in his ability. I also hope that all the things he said (like his regrets about not talking to Kami directly) in the chapter about Kami’s Death, were ALL true.

“If I think about it now, the cause of Malice Mizer’s breakup was my own individualism and self-confidence, and the widening difference between things that the other members were concerned about .” –> Gackt

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There are only two people in this world whom I address as -sama. Mana-sama and Haido-sama. It’s because I love and respect them.

I have said in my previous post that I was touched by Moon Child. Kei and Sho are not only characters in a movie for me anymore. They have become like friends from my past. I’ll explain this in another post.

 

 

So it’s true then that Gackt fancies Haido-sama, eh? … Grrr, G-A-C-K-T!!!

So, there goes again my complicated feelings for Gackt…

Please participate in the Gackt and Mana-sama poll. Read comment #7.

Gackt’s Autobiography: Jihaku

When I posted Why I hate Gackt and Juka, somehow, it had me rethinking about reading Gackt’s autobiography. As much as I dislike Gackt, I also wanted to know what he has to say. Yes, I AM open-minded. So I did. I DID read his autobiography. It never occurred to me, even in my deepest, darkest imagination, that I would actually read such a manuscript. Good for me though. I’ve found more things to make fun of him. Today, let me share to you the funny stuff. (How weird the English from the quoted parts might seem, I have nothing to do with that. I copied them verbatim.)

JIHAKU

Section 1 Chapter 1 – My Near-Death Experiences as a Child and Life in the Hospital Isolation Ward

“…I was fascinated by death…”

Still here? Continue reading this article in the NEW Flight of Fancy website.

You know what’s hilarious?

The people who have read my blog (more so my previous post), know how I dislike Gackt (and Juka, and etc…) I can’t help but roll my eyes just by hearing his name. So I’ve posted the real reason why I dislike him, right? Guess what? It was the best day my blog ever had visitors! My blog stats sky rocketed like crazy! Believe me, I don’t know what to say. Is it just me or Gackt just seem to attract people, like honey to bees, whether people like him or not! I just don’t get it! Like this very post! Why am I even bothering to talk about Gackt! It doesn’t matter whether I’m trashing him or not, I’m still talking about him, ain’t I? I should have a page called “Trashing Gackt” or something. Gackt-trashers will most definitely be welcomed!

Still here? Continue reading this article in the NEW Flight of Fancy website.

Why I hate Gackt and Juka

You might have noticed that I have a great dislike (or hate) for the band members (especially vocalists) of Mana-sama who left for whatever reason aside from dying (miss you Kami-san!). Just put yourself in Mana-sama’s shoes. You pick this guy, who was a nobody, and turn him into something great and famous, and then he turns his back on you and says, “I think I’m meant for something greater than being your vocalist.” What the hell does that suppose to mean, you ungrateful )(*&^$#@!!! Mana-sama showed you the road to greatness and this is how you repay him?!

Gackt left Malice Mizer because of “musical differences” (Mhmm, sure…) and after Juka left Moi Dix Moi, even Kazuno and Touru left the band because they lack a vocalist. Obviously, these guys don’t know anything about loyalty and trust. Trust that Mana-sama, the pillar of visual kei, the unshakable fortress of J-rock, would actually crumble into nothingness without a vocalist! I don’t think they knew whom they dealt with when they signed their contract!

It’s really sad that Mana-sama has to go through band break-ups too many times in his life. I’d be devastated, but Mana-sama never says anything can’t happen. He just pushes forward and create something new and awesome and exciting. His greatness is at its peak with Dixanadu.The 3 ex-members must be crying their eyes out because they’re not in it. Ha! Suckers!

I hope Seth’s a keeper and the others too. Let’s shout “Banzai!” for K for sticking to Moi Dix Mois ’til today.

If Juka was a doll…

I found this picture of Juka from his official website. The doll below is Sha, from a Dream of Doll collection. I think Juka resembles Sha in a way. I think it’s because of the hair… First time I’ve seen Juka without the heavy make up from his Moi Dix Mois days. He looks quite nice! Just something to share to Juka fans out there. I’m not really one. I just found myself giggling when looking at Juka’s picture and then Sha’s. It’s hilarious…

In case anyone is still wondering who Juka is, he’s the former vocalist of Moi Dix Mois. (Yup, another %$#@! who left Mana-sama and caused the band to break apart.) Now, he’s a vocalist for Hizaki Grace Project as well as a solo artist.

In case there are any Juka-haters out there, buy this doll, say a chant, and stick it with pins! HAHAHAHA!

Schwarz Stein

View Schwarz Stein page.

Dream of Doll

Love the dolls from Dream of Doll. They’re made in Korea. The price per doll is unbelievable. Each one can cost more than 500 US dollars, but the dolls are worth it!!! Completely posable, body parts are changeable, you can also add additional accessories and make-up! Very nice! Check out this guy. He costs US 560$.

View their site here.